Of Life

I keep having thoughts about this book I'm supposed to write. Am I a good writer, "yes" even i'll say that; great like the like's of Poe and other's? great in a sense that I believe my best stuff comes out when I'm fucked up. I've been struggeling with this for quite some time now. afraid to write unless i had some form of chemical substance in my system. altering how I think, and my reactions to certain situations; having now come to the conclusion that i would not have adapted to these situations as well otherwise.