Big Man

Dear God... if there is someone out there in the luminescent florescent bulb of my existence,


 I cried the other day, vigorously and (as the fool inside would have me write) without shame. I am a joke, at least, they seem to think so. Well, what do I tell those who say, "Don't worry about what the other people think," when 'the other people' are who I should have been looking out for, huh? What they should have said was, "Watch out for everyone, look out for no one but yourself. Oh, and don't trust anybody." But you already know this, right God? So you know when I say, "Dear God," I mean, goddamn well, "Dear God." ... Games are for pussies.


 I don't know what I'm saying now, or, anymore but I know I need some answers, and if 'the big man up stairs' ain't talking... well let's just say I'll be taking an odyssey of my own. I mean, who ever said we all just have to live the American Dream? Live and die happy, I mean, it sounds like something I should want but... I just can't. I need the struggle. I need to pursue. It's just... how I feel alive and, I guess, how I know you are too.


So, when you have time; I mean, no bother... You know. 


Just, kinda, would really like to know how to get shit back to right.


You know who